DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU JUST AREN’T CUTTING IT AS A PARENT? WHAT IF YOU REALIZED THAT YOU AREN’T FAILING AS A PARENT, THE ODDS ARE JUST STACKED AGAINST YOU.
WHY YOU AREN’T FAILING AS A PARENT:
WE COMPARE OUR LIVES TO A HIGHLIGHT REEL
Have you ever really stopped to analyze your feelings during and after using social media? Whether that is Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest. It’s a rollercoaster of up and down, jealous, inspired, anxious.
Sometimes at its most intense, I feel downright depressed after seeing certain people’s pictures. I followed a woman with 3 children for a while who’s whole feed was how amazing her kids were, how gorgeous her house was and how beautiful she was.
That’s great for her (if it’s true) but why do I need to subject myself to that?
It’s a dangerous game to think well, I’m getting inspiration for my life!
Are you though?
Or are you just comparing what you don’t have to someone’s highlight reel?
Because that’s what social media is. You share your best moments, the funniest moments, maybe even the craziest moments that you can kind of laugh at.
But what I’m noticing parenting at home and in ‘real’ life, it’s more like 65 percent of the day is actually intense with kids and not so pretty.
And it’s like we’re ashamed to talk about it.
Well here’s my confession-
I am angry and grumpy a lot during the day with my kids.
What’s important is that you strive to be better.
And I do.
Some days, I am not angry and grumpy much at all.
This is life.
Parenting 3 children under the age of 5 alone for most of the day is at times gratifying, but for the most part, it’s just EXHAUSTING.
It’s OKAY to admit that you don’t love a lot of your day.
So much falls on mothers to cook, clean, parent children, get exercise, drink enough water, have a job and stay POSITIVE.
I love positivity as much as the next person!
But I think these unrealistic expectations of how parenting should be are extremely damaging to how we treat ourselves.
Because who beats you up during the day for every shitty thought, every blow up and not so great interaction?
YOU, my friend.
It’s time to come to the realization that your life isn’t a HIGHLIGHT REEL.
It’s REAL life.
Embrace the chaos, the fights, the tears.
It’s REAL and it’s okay.
THERE IS NO VILLAGE ANYMORE
Which ties in a bit with the above point. We have to do it all ourselves. We are surrounded by people, able to connect with the touch of a button but we are completely alone in our houses.
And being completely alone with young children for the better part of the day, for days and years on end-
Is just not healthy.
For you or your kids.
We have lost the wisdom of all the generations being available to our children. To ourselves as well!
WE ARE THE FIRST GENERATION TO BE DEALING WITH SMARTPHONES
… And we have no idea what the repercussions of that are yet.
Maybe I’m the only one who has done this…
But I don’t think so.
Sometimes my children will be demanding things or just getting upset and losing it. I have noticed that when I’m particularly tired-
I will pick up my phone and start scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.
Writing this makes me feel ill.
I do this because it is easier to immerse myself in quick flashes of other people’s lives, tidbits of information, bright pictures, than it is to walk over to my child and hug them.
To be the bigger person.
It allows me to justify not helping them.
How dare they cry and get upset when _____ is happening in the world! Ohmygosh there’s been another accident? Trump said what?!
All while my child is crying.
They don’t have another world to scroll through. Their world is right in front of them, and the person they love and need is looking at a screen and ignoring them when they need them the most.
This is something I’m aware of and trying to stop doing. But if you’ve ever done this and know what I’m talking about- Hey. I feel you. We got some shit to work through ❤
*Note- I’ve been experimenting with my phone. And the results have been shocking.
In the morning, I turn my phone off after waking up and don’t touch it till after lunch time when some of my kids nap. So far I have noticed:
- feeling more at peace because my mind wasn’t constantly jumping from thing to thing.
- not as many urges to buy things and having my phone off has actually physically deterred me from searching and placing orders online.
- actually thinking my own thoughts.
- paying attention to my kids and not snapping at them because I’m not distracted by my phone.
- realizing that there IS enough time in the day to do things I want to do if I am not wasting it away on my phone.
WE ARE TRAPPED IN AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF SPENDING MONEY WE DON’T HAVE ON THINGS WE DON’T NEED
Have you ever really thought about what we are doing with our money? Most people carry a substantial amount of debt. We buy new cars, we buy houses that are insanely expensive. And we have student loans or credit card debt. Or both.
This isn’t conducive to living our best lives with our children. Your kids don’t care if you have a brand new car. They don’t care about your weekly orders from Amazon.
They care about you and spending time with you. Until one day, they won’t anymore.
Live richly NOW.
What does living richly now mean to YOU?
To me it means saving up and taking my family on a trip in 6 months and actually doing it. Committing and going because if not now, when? When will I have “enough” money? When will it be acceptable to take my family on a trip?
Do you need to spend money on eating out or stuff for the house that isn’t really necessary? Or can you become mindful of your spending and put that money toward making memories with your family?
If you are interested in changing your perceptions on money and have some debt accumulated, check out this book. Careful though, it may change your life ❤
SOCIETY PLACES VALUE ON WORKING A 9-5 TILL YOUR 65
And now it’s both men and women that are leaving the home to go and work. And if we are doing that then we are putting our kids in daycare, sometimes when they’re incredibly young. If you are doing this right now, I’m not judging. Sometimes it’s what you have to do. It’s just not what we want for our family.
We are at a point where we need to be collectively standing up as parents and questioning why we are doing things the way we are. We need to stand up and champion our children’s well being even if we seem weird to other people.
For my family that looks like getting my husband and I both HOME with our kids, here with them while they’re young and need us. It looks like financial freedom so we can take our kids traveling and see the world NOW, not when we’re retirement age. What’s the point of working at these jobs that aren’t propelling us forward as human beings and keeping us from enjoying our lives with our children?
What does this look like for your family?
What would you do if you had audacity to simply TRY something that could get you where you want to be?
What could you do TODAY?
WHAT WE CAN DO AS PARENTS
It’s important to know that there is a positive end to this post.
We can choose what we want for our lives.
We can choose to put down our phones and be in the moment.
We can choose to not just blindly accept what society tells us to do.
This is our time, as well as our children’s.
And what better way to raise our kids than to show them that ANYTHING is possible.
The doors are all open for us, for them and the world is a beautiful place.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU’D ADD TO THE LIST OF WHY YOU AREN’T FAILING AS A PARENT? I’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS. LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW!