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Two out of three kids are away and it’s a rare moment of peace in our house. I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for the chaos (’cause let me assure you, it IS chaos) of having a third baby.
Some days seem to be smoother than others and some the timing just seems to work out that I cannot get anything done. Like not even 2 minutes to pee without someone crying/yelling for me.
And that’s hard.
To feel like you have NO time for yourself, and, even at the end of the day when you think you can rest, the baby is up for her grumpy 2 hours so you are pacing and rocking and staring at your bed in almost tears.
Like I said, those aren’t my days all the time. Sometimes the other two don’t fight much, they fill their water glasses without help, the baby sleeps for 3 hours and I manage to clean and squeeze a work out in.
What I’ve found is that:
because of this mix of crazy days and ‘good’ days, the good days feel like I won the dang lottery. So with all of that being said, here are some reasons to HAVE THAT 3RD BABY and a few to stay where you’re at.
YOU’RE ALREADY BUSY WITH 2 KIDS
Think about it woman! Your days are already kinda’ crazy, aren’t they? If your other two are under 5 than they are really crazy and if they are older I’m guessing you’re still driving to activities, making lunches and just getting through the day to day with two children.
It ain’t a walk in the park.
So really, what’s one more?
Babies sleep during the day, they eat, they’re so squishy and cute. They smell heavenly and make you remember why you had a baby in the first place. And it truly is amazing to see my other children with the baby.
We’re all in awe of her and holy smokes do they love trying to make her smile and laugh. It’s so heartwarming to watch that!
YOU’LL REGRET IT IF YOU WANT A 3RD BABY BUT DON’T
If you are reading this, I’m guessing you are trying to convince yourself to have another baby. (Or you are already pregnant and trying to reassure yourself that having 3 kids will be okay… Let me assure you! You will be more than okay ❤)
Do you want to ‘wake up‘ in ten years and question why on earth you didn’t?
It’s over fast, mama. So fast.
Will you regret it? I know that this is my last baby. And I am completely at peace with this. I know it in my bones, I know it in my soul. But I didn’t feel that way after my second. So think about what’s important to you and question if you are truly okay with not having another baby.
Life is too short and babies are too important.
TIME GOES SO FAST WITH CHILDREN
Nothing speeds up time like having children. Never have I been so aware of how fast it slips by. When did my first baby grow into a hilarious, smart, beautiful child? One who can joke with me and reason for things?
I’ll tell you something funny- this 3rd baby wasn’t exactly on purpose.
I know what you’re thinking… don’t you know shit happens when you party naked?! Well, yes, but sometimes accidents still happen so be careful 😉
At first we were going mental–
how could we have done this, we’re not prepared, another baby is going to be insane...
But when we finally calmed down we realized something.
It’s gone in the blink of an eye.
That baby grows incredibly fast. I feel like I had my son so recently and it was 2.5 years ago.
Can you deal with crazy until your baby is past the toddler stage? It does get easier.
So. Much. Easier.
Before my third baby was born, my husband and I were spending a lot of time together in the evenings after the other two were in bed and even before bedtime because they are old enough to play for long periods of time and entertain each other.
IT IS NOTHING LIKE THE TRANSITION FROM 1 TO 2
When I brought my second home and my first was just over two years old, I cried.
SO MUCH CRYING. ALL THE TEARS.
I felt like I was taking something away from her. Like I’d forced her to grow up too fast. Not enough time to spend with her anymore. How could I have done this? Obviously, I had also given her the gift of a beautiful friendship but it didn’t feel like it right away.
When I brought home my third baby, I did not cry.
Well, I mean I did, but not for that reason.
It was because my first and second are such fast friends that they entertain the shit out of each other. Seriously, it was like ‘oh, hey mom, new baby? Cool, we’re gonna play now.’
(My son did have some pretty epic tantrums but the newest baby is now a month old and I think that storm has already been weathered ’cause things are smoothing out.)
Co-sleeping with my first two was also something that really made this transition easier. I was well practiced and was getting okay sleeps after the first 2 weeks of being home. Pretty amazing with a newborn!
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING
Ha, I mean somewhat.
Does anyone really know what they’re doing?
But you have a pretty good idea when it comes to parenting. You’re gonna feel pretty frickin awesome when it’s time to bring the baby home and realize you’re not even worried about leaving the hospital. You know about swaddling and spit up don’t phase you. You know about sleep regression, teething and tantrums.
You got this.
Now with all the positives out there, I’m gonna come at you with some hard truths about a third baby…
Are you ready?
IT’S F#@%&# CHAOS ALL THE TIME
Someone will always need something. And I do mean always. Cups filled, butts wiped, toys opened, snacks gotten, spills cleaned up.
It will never end.
You will sit down for apprx. 1.5 seconds before getting up to do something for someone.
What kind of person are you? Do you thrive on chaos? Or can you at least deal with it?
I commend you if you can, ’cause I have a hard time with that. I worry constantly if I am cut out for this shit.
But you get through it.
And you realize that the good outweighs the bad and you love your tiny people to death and that’s that.
This is a whole new person you are adding to your family- they won’t be a tiny squidgy baby forever. They will grow (astonishingly quickly) into someone who has all sorts of needs and wants. It’s that much more food, activities
The sheer amount and volume of THINGS that come in to your house from gifts.
It’s 3 birthdays throughout the year. That includes presents from friends and grandparents. PLUS Christmas if you celebrate that. Plus all the other random times kids seem to collect gifts. Just sayin’, the amount of stuff can be hard to deal with.
When you have more than one child and everyone gets sick-
this can literally be hell on Earth.
If they’re especially young and they’re all needing attention. Picture this- your oldest is crying and saying they need to barf, the middle one is screaming and having a tantrum and the baby is crying and needing to fed. It feels like those moments last forever, but really they don’t.
You will always be worried about one of them, simple as that. As soon as things seem like smooth sailing- someone will get sick, develop a cavity or start having a rough time at school.
… BUT LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
So after writing these negatives… are they really that negative?
Your kids will grow up.
They will not need things gotten for them… They will not need you to play with them.
Sometimes when I stop and catch my breath and just stare at how cute their little faces are I realize that I can make it.
Those tiny hands will no longer reach for you.
Their tiny tears will dry up and a special hug from mom might not be enough to help them get through it.
Yes. I can make it.
You can make it.
It’s gone so fast. Embrace the chaos and the mess and the tears. If your heart yearns for another sweet baby… have that baby ❤
Please let me know if you decided to have a 3rd child below in the comments! I’d love to hear how everything turned out for you 🙂
If you are pregnant or have a new 3rd baby this article might be for you!
(Here’s a tiny update for you: My 3rd baby is 3 months old… and I’m realizing why people want EVEN MORE. No joke, I said to my husband that if I had more time and money… I’d probably have another ❤)