Do you ever feel guilty complaining about being a mom in this day and age simply because our ancestors had it tougher? My grandmother talks about how she raised 4 kids, had a giant garden and milked cows on the dairy while the men were out farming.
It’s not her fault, but every time she brings this up I feel incredibly guilty. Like I have it too easy or something.
I think being a millennial mom comes with it’s own set of challenges that we haven’t even been through before. We are weathering a storm that hasn’t yet been weathered.
I don’t think any generation had it easier or harder than the other- just a different set of challenges.
Here are some things I’ve noticed millennial moms have to deal with:
WE COMPARE OUR LIVES TO A HIGHLIGHT REEL
Have you ever really stopped to analyze your feelings during and after using social media? Whether that is Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest. It’s a rollercoaster of up and down, jealous, inspired, anxious.
Sometimes at its most intense, I feel downright depressed after seeing certain people’s pictures. I followed a woman with 3 children for a while who’s whole feed was how amazing her kids were, how gorgeous her house was and how beautiful she was.
That’s great for her (if it’s true) but why do I need to subject myself to that?
It’s a dangerous game to think well, I’m getting inspiration for my life!
Are you though?
Or are you just comparing what you don’t have to someone’s highlight reel?
Because that’s what social media is. You share your best moments, the funniest moments, maybe even the craziest moments that you can kind of laugh at.
But what I’m noticing parenting at home and in ‘real’ life, it’s more like 65 percent of the day is actually intense with kids and not so pretty.
And it’s like we’re ashamed to talk about it.
Well here’s my confession-
I am angry and grumpy a lot during the day with my kids.
What’s important is that you strive to be better.
And I do.
Some days, I am not angry and grumpy much at all.
This is life.
Parenting 3 children under the age of 5 alone for most of the day is at times gratifying, but for the most part, it’s just EXHAUSTING.
It’s OKAY to admit that you don’t love a lot of your day.
So much falls on mothers to cook, clean, parent children, get exercise, drink enough water, have a job and stay POSITIVE.
I love positivity as much as the next person!
But I think these unrealistic expectations of how parenting should be are extremely damaging to how we treat ourselves.
Because who beats you up during the day for every shitty thought, every blow up and not so great interaction?
YOU, my friend.
It’s time to come to the realization that your life isn’t a HIGHLIGHT REEL.
It’s REAL life.
Embrace the chaos, the fights, the tears.
It’s REAL and it’s okay.
THERE IS NO VILLAGE ANYMORE
Which ties in a bit with the above point. We have to do it all ourselves. We are surrounded by people, able to connect with the touch of a button but we are completely alone in our houses.
And being completely alone with young children for the better part of the day, for days and years on end-
Is just not healthy.
For you or your kids.
We have lost the wisdom of all the generations being available to our children. To ourselves as well!
WE ARE THE FIRST GENERATION TO BE DEALING WITH SMARTPHONES
… And we have no idea what the repercussions of that are yet.
Maybe I’m the only one who has done this…
But I don’t think so.
Sometimes my children will be demanding things or just getting upset and losing it. I have noticed that when I’m particularly tired-
I will pick up my phone and start scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.
I do this because it is easier to immerse myself in quick flashes of other people’s lives, tidbits of information, bright pictures, than it is to walk over to my child and hug them.
They don’t have another world to scroll through. Their world is right in front of them, and the person they love and need is looking at a screen and ignoring them when they need them the most.
This is something I’m aware of and trying to stop doing. But if you’ve ever done this and know what I’m talking about- Hey. I feel you.
WE ARE TRAPPED In An Endless Money Cycle
We are spending money we don’t have on things we don’t need. This creates so much stress that we definitely don’t need. Everything we could ever want is at our fingertips with the touch of button.
The older generations didn’t have this luxury (if you want to call it that). I think this drives us to be majorly distracted, to be always thinking of what we “need” and having it so readily available.
WHAT WE CAN DO AS Millennial Moms
We can choose what we want for our lives.
We can choose to put down our phones and be in the moment.
We can choose to not just blindly accept what society tells us to do.
This is our time, as well as our children’s.
And what better way to raise our kids than to show them that ANYTHING is possible.